Spread Thin

Like peanut butter at the bottom of the jar,
scooped out with a spoon - spread over a thick
piece of Iron Kids bread.

That's how I'm spread. Thin.

I know God has a purpose for my life.
He's allowed me to be used, emotionally abused;
I've allowed myself to be other people tools.
A self made Fool.
Surrounding myself with people that love me -- I think.
But, I feel like a mule.

Am I being spread too thin?
Is this a test to see if being used allows me to win?
During the day I'm a Hero to all,
My cellphone rings and I don't even want to see who called.
Because when it rings - there are so many things that are needed from me,
other people problems, fears, relationships, kids, wives - lives are spoken
to me. By God's will and my ears -- my eyes are open to see. Although I don't like it at times; these life lessons - my poems illustrate confessions - deep in my mind.
Maybe these things are focusing me.

Lord notice me. My son's hoping for me.
I feel alone...even though I have thousands of friends; family that's there
But don't care. Lord help me build so I can feel,
completely structured like bricks house, thousands of folks live in.

Unlike a suicide note I know this poem is where it begins...
I AM SPREAD THIN -- But my Faith is thick, Ice is thin -- yet Ice is slick!

So enough with that bulls&*t,
I'VE BEEN PICKED!

2004